Anger Management: An Understanding of Negative Thoughts and Behaviour in Sport and Life.

The demands of jobs, relationships, family and life seem to be increasing the instances of emotional and/or physical anger in today's society. In sport as well as life the cases where an athlete displays a negative reaction in the face of adversity are also becoming more prominent and this is often highlighted within the media. English rugby league fans will clearly remember the brutal assault by Wigan's Ben Flower on St Helen's Lance Hohaia in the 2014 Super League grand final. Unfortunately when the demands of a situation outweigh the coping skills that a person has learned, for some a cycle of negative behaviours and outcomes eventuates.

It is important to mention that anger is a normal reaction and on many occasions it can be a healthy, human emotion. It is only when that anger gets out of control and turns destructive for people in the vicinity or well-being of the person losing control of their emotions, that it can lead to problems.

From a sporting perspective: frustration and anger can be a result of an inability to deal with conflict in a pressure situation (As with Ben Flower), problems with focusing on the performance, and problems with confidence and self esteem, which ultimately leads to under performance by the athlete. Outside of sport, the inability to deal with demanding situations through displays of anger can lead to problems at work, personal relationships and can have a massive impact on overall quality of life.

Anger can be caused by external events such as getting angry at a specific person such as a team-mate making a basic mistake, a partner doing something hurtful or a missed flight or traffic jam. Anger can also be caused by internal events such as worrying or brooding about your personal problems or memories of traumatic event.

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage and is accompanied by physiological and biological changes, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure going up, brought on by the chemical release of hormones, such as Adrenaline. This heightened awareness to danger is the "Fight or Flight response". The instinctive way to respond to threats is to react aggressively when a person that irritates or annoys us, yet laws and social norms curtail such actions. Unfortunately for some the ability to refrain from lashing out, be it through physical or emotional abuse, is lost during extreme anger.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming:

Expressing angry feelings involves being assertive (not aggressive) in the things that you do and say and is the healthiest way to deal with heightened emotions. It involves taking ownership of situations, clearly stating how you would like your needs met and being respectful of yourself and others.

Constructively suppressing anger involves converting or redirecting emotions. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour.

Finally, using methods of calming down and control anger involves taking steps to lower the heart rate and let the feelings subside.

Below is some methods I would use to assist individuals to manage their anger through to expressing, suppressing or calming:

Cue Words (Suppressing)- To learn to focus on your next actions.

Affirmations (Expressing/Calming)- To let go of anger and mistakes.

Role Play (Expressing)- As a means to practice more appropriate behavioural responses.

Visualisation (Suppressing/Calming)- To internalise the way of being relaxed and in control. Cognitive Restructuring (Suppressing/Calming)- To change the way a person thinks by introducing rational thoughts.

If you struggle with anger during competition or day to day functioning, give me a call or drop me an email to learn more about the coping skills mentioned. I can review your lifestyle, examine your thought processes and behaviours and introduce skills and actions that will assist you to better manage your emotions and use them to your advantage.